This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
