okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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