I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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