dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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