and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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