I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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