I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
