I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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