You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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