i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
