His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
