do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
