The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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