The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's just so happy...and so naked.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Never let your siblings swipe right.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
