Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
