didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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