I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
