Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
