I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
