Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
