i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
