they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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