i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
