bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
