i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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