trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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