I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize