Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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