I never want to see another naked old woman again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
