your thong is hanging out like whoa
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
one might say we're banned from that church
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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