then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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