I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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