You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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