i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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