I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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