im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
