Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
