I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
