No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
