Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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