fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
