I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
