Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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