i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
