is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
