Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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