Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
