While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
