I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize