420 ftw
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
