He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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