Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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