see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
