I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
nutella sex= disaster
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
