Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
try to milk me bitch
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