Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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