I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize