I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
