man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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